Why I can relate to Beyoncé and Blue Ivy's hair struggle

She wears her hair natural. That's the way her mama likes it. So get off it, already.

The most recent stink came two days ago at the MTV Video Music Awards as the camera panned to Jay Z who held his tot sporting a gold bow in her curly afro. Even though Mom Beyoncé's performance and her Lifetime Achievement Award were sensational moments, it was Blue Ivy's adorableness that stole the show.

A snapshot of Jay Z holding his daughter Blue Ivy during the MTV VMAs.

Several fans thought Blue Ivy's natural 'do was cute. Others, who apparently don't get natural hair care, thought the style was tasteless.

No, honey. BET's Karreuche Tran's snarky 'uncombed hair' comment yesterday about a 2-year-old's hair was tasteless. Quite the tangle she weaved. Who makes fun of a kids? Scoff!

The problem, the haters say: How could Beyoncé and Jay Z -- both multi-millionaries, mind you -- not make the time to care for Blue Ivy's hair?

To understand Blue Ivy's hair, you have to understand why it looks the way it does.

Blue Ivy's hair is growing, but it's short and fragile. It's growing at different paces with some sections longer than others and that's normal for a child her age. It's noticeable in her hair because it's dark, curly and coarse in texture.

My two daughters -- Alejandra, 6, and Gabriella, 3 -- were the same.

I remember my mother wanting to shave my eldest daughter's hair because 'it wasn't growing evenly or fast enough.' I had to hide all the scissors in the house in fear of coming home to a bald toddler.

My decision not to yank my daughter's hair so tight into little pony tails or braids or have knockers dangling from the edges was my decision.

It was also my decision not to slather hair jam or grease into my daughters' hair or brush it into a more aesthetically pleasing style for people who didn't matter.

Yet, people -- even close relatives -- criticized me. It looked 'sloppy', 'messy' or 'nappy' they'd say. Kick rocks, I'd reply.

Believe me, there were no naps in their hair.

No 'linty dreads' as one person referred to Blue Ivy's locks.

No crazy kinks or dried out tangles.

No wild afros... I lie. I quite enjoyed their curly 'fros.

I wanted my little girls to embrace the versatility in their hair.

I wanted to teach my children how to moisturize, condition and maintain their hair without all the gunky products. (I've tried them, and it's not worth the trouble or the damage.)

I wanted my girls to let their hair grow -- even as slow or as awkward at times it may have looked -- the way it was intended to lay on their head.

So, Blue Ivy, don't fret over your hair.

You're perfectly beautiful just the way you are -- curly, frizzy, kinky, and (my favorite term) unruly. Embrace your hair.

We've enjoyed our journey, and this is the result...


Gabriella's hair is thick and coarse, but it's fun to style.

Every morning as we get ready for school, my Gabriella will say, 'Mommy, today, I want you to leave my hair down. No bows. No ties. Just down. It's prettiest that way.'

And, I agree.


Alejandra's hair was long on top and in the front and short on the sides and back. Her hair didn't start taking shape until she was age 3. So we just let her hair do it's thing.

My daughter Alejandra when she was age 3. Her hair was long in the front and short in the back. But we just let her hair do it's thing. Josie Loza / Momaha.comKathy Rae Photography

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