Desperately seeking a summer hairstyle (pigtails don't count)
Looking hot (as in haute) and staying cool (as in not passing out from the heat) is becoming an ever-increasing struggle, not only for me, but clearly for my fellow socialites traversing soirees and events in this wretched heat and humidity. And, by the by, I'd like you to remind you that the first official day of summer isn't until June 21, and we still have the relentless blaze of August to look forward to.
Fashion is one thing. Most of us over the age of 35 are faced with needing tank tops to keep cool, but because we don't have the upper arms of Jennifer Lawrence, adding cardigans to cover-up. We must choose to be comfortable and self-conscious or to be less self-conscious as we slowly lose consciousness due to heatstroke.
The clothing dilemma during a Southwest Florida summer is here year after year, but what I'm really noticing this year is the hairstyle conundrum. It's real, I tell you. I know this because I'm seeing grown women with their hair in pigtails. And I'm not talking about braids; I'm talking about girlish pigtails on either side of the head. I realize that this hairstyle creates muchneeded ventilation for the crucial backof the-neck area, but ladies, no one over the age of 10 looks cute in pigtails. Not at the gym, not in your backyard, not at the grocery and most certainly not at a party.
Just because your husband or boyfriend says you look 'cute' does not mean you should walk around in public wearing pigtails. I told one of my girlfriends this and she accused me of being 'judgy.' I say if counseling a 47-year-old woman not to wear pigtails in public is judgy, then hand me my gavel, because this is what friends are for.
And it's not just pigtails; there are those rings of flowers in the hair. What with the popularity of summer music festivals like Coachella in California and Bonaroo in Tennessee, the concert styles are overflowing into the regular world, which means teenagers are wearing whimsical garlands of plastic posies and such in their hair (since we don't have any music festivals here, the girls here buy them at Claire's in the mall). And you know what? On waif-like young women, they do look kind of sweet in a hippy chick sort of way. But ladies, I get that it's humid and our hair is not cooperating and it might be tempting to throw a ring of fake roses on top of your head like you're a flower girl at a wedding, but unless you're 16, please, just don't do it. I've finally gotten used to straw fedoras and have accepted them (if not on my own head, at least on all of my friends' heads), but I just can't get on board with the girlish garlands trend on adult women.
In the long run, we are left with plastic claw clips to pull our damp, sweaty tresses up during this season of heat and humidity that lasts pretty much until Thanksgiving. I can't find any particularly fetching clips, so I just buy mine in bulk at CVS or Target. I carry them everywhere and keep some in the car for emergencies, because no matter how freshly blow-dried and sprayed my coif is, the moment I walk out the door and hit the wall of hot steam we call air, my lovely do turns into a sad, stringy mess that serves only to stick annoyingly to the back of my neck and shoulders. Thus, the clip. Trust me, I've read every article and seen all the Pinterest posts on summer hairstyles to 'beat the heat,' but short of shaving my head, the trusty clip is the only answer for me.
So far this year, the heat hasn't driven me stir crazy just yet. You'll know that it has when you spot me parading around at a public event wearing pigtails and a floral garland while pouring my ice cold drink over my head. It'll probably be sometime around August. ¦
- Ciao for now, my lovelies! Stay tuned for another divalicious diary entry next week ...
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