The hottest men's hairstyle in North Korea is shear madness.
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, in a bizarre bit of tonsorial tyranny, decreed that his 12 million countrymen adopt his decidedly retro high-and-tight 'do.
The diminutive despot delivered his 'fashion guideline' about two weeks ago, likely ensuring that Dennis Rodman and his multi-hued mop will never return to the nation.
The 'Un and only' haircut, once popularized by '90s boy bands, was unimaginatively dubbed 'The Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un' - more of a mouthful than 'a little off the sides.'
The 31-year-old's look is simple: Short and slicked back on top, buzzed to the skin above both ears.
North Korea's citizens were not too keen on the government-ordered grooming, griping that it's not the right look for everyone.
'Our leader's haircut is very particular, if you will,' one source told the Korea Times. 'It doesn't always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes.'
While North Korean men wigged out over the above-the-ears edict, word of the state-sanctioned styling caused barely a ripple in New York.
'It's a classic fade haircut,' said Igor Iskiyev, owner of Clean Cuts in the East Village. 'It works for Kim Jong-Un because his face is so big.'
Iskiyev said he can give the same cut to anyone in about 10 minutes, for his standard price of $15.
Despite his reputation as a cartoonish, hyper-violent buffoon, Kim Jong-Un's cut is not completely outdated, said Adel Chabbi, who sports a similar coiffure.
Yet Chabbi acknowledges the look is on the way out in favor of cuts with more body and texture on the sides.
At Chabbi's Adel Atelier Salon on the Lower East Side, customers often come in with iPhone photos of hairstyles they want.
'Nobody ever came in with a photo of Kim Jong-Un,' he said. 'If they did, I wouldn't be so excited.'
The shaved sides would mean something very specific on the streets of New York City - and it's not a celebration of police-state socialism.
'If most people got that cut,' said Iskiyev, 'they would just look like a hipster.'
lmcshane@nydailynews.com
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